I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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