seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize