There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Randomize
