I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
This is the high leading the old right now
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
