Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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