I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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