I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
His nipple licking is glorious
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