i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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