I need help removing her.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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