Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize