I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
