If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
