She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
