I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
