omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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