I need help removing her.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
