We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I take back everything I said about communal showers
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Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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