I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
