So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize