i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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