After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
