3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize