I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
