Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize