Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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