We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
