My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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