i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
