Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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