How'd it feel making her break her religion?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
