if i can run in heels then i can drive
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
