pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
