That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
