don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
operation have a gay friend backfired
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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