Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
