So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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