So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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