I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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