I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
