I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
