If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
