shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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