I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
