is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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