Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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