I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize