Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize