CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Text me some of your sweat
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
