If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize