i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
