Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
