We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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