I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
