I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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