What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
