they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
