I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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